Why “Smart Girls” get Stuck in Bad Relationships…

There is not much better than the giddy feeling of being in a new relationship. You and your new guy are on your best behavior and everything is so much FUN. So how is it you wake up 6 months later and find yourself smack dab in the middle of an abusive relationship? The answer: It happens so slowly you don’t notice until it feels too late.

Abusers start slow. It might be just a snide comment at first, such as “are you really going to wear that?” Or perhaps they “love you so much,” that they want to spend every waking minute with you and slowly your friends and family are pushed aside. Ultimately, abusers know exactly how to disarm a smart girl, and they are very patient. Parents often ask, “How did my intelligent, outgoing, bubbly daughter turn into this shadow of herself?” Abuse, wether it’s verbal, emotional, or physical, chips away at your self worth until there is nothing left. If you don’t value yourself, you begin to think you deserve the abuse.

Parents, if you suspect your daughter is in an unhealthy relationship, get her help quickly.

1 in 4 teenage girls find themselves in an abusive relationship. Only 30% of those girls talk to their parents about what they are experiencing, but there are warning signs you can look for.

1) Is your daughter isolating herself, only spending time with her boyfriend?

2) Has her mood changed at home? Is she more quiet and withdrawn?

3) Is she disregarding friends and families advice when it comes to her boyfriend?

4) Have her grades been slipping?

5) Is she no longer doing things she used to love?

6) Do you sense that something is “off” in her relationship?

All of the above signs could be pointing to an unhealthy relationship and there is a good chance she won’t ask for help. If you are worried and she won’t talk about it, find her trusted adult to speak with. The trick is to catch it early and take action.